10 YEARS AIN'T 10 DAYS
HIGHLIGHT
Date: June 2nd, 2024
Twenty-four hours have passed, and I’m still in excruciating pain. The issue isn’t the pain itself—I’ve lived with Sickle Cell Disease my entire life and have grown accustomed to it. The real problem is the time. Typically, when I arrive at a medical institution, my history with SCD ensures a quick diagnosis and treatment. However, this time, the doctors struggled to determine what was wrong. Their only solution at the time was to sedate me to prevent a heart attack or stroke, as my heart was working overtime.
As I lay on the hospital bed, drifting in and out of consciousness, with Lynda—my wife—sitting beside me, the lead doctor entered the room holding a clipboard.
Doctor: “Mr. Richards, I’m afraid that very shortly, you will no longer be able to make decisions for yourself. I need you to sign your decision-making powers over to your wife.”
Me: Wow. This is a first.
Also me: (Looks over at Lynda) Without a second thought, I signed the documents and quickly fell asleep.
Date: December 26th, 2024
Today, Lynda and I celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary—TEN YEARS. I share the story of those 30 seconds in the hospital room because I believe that moment perfectly illustrates what these ten years have brought us.
I trust Lynda with my life, and I wholeheartedly believe that she will always make decisions with my best interests at heart.
It might have taken me ten years to get here, but I am happy I arrived!
INSIGHT: 10 Lessons in 10 Years
Values Over Personalities
Compatibility of values is far more important than compatibility of personality. Over ten years, our personalities have evolved, but our core values have remained constant.Humility Is the Foundation of Marriage
In the scriptures, the ultimate call for a man is to be the head of the home, with his greatest responsibility being to serve. For a woman, the ultimate call is to be a helper, with her greatest responsibility being to submit. At the heart of both servitude and submission is sacrifice. Therefore, humility is the currency of a healthy marriage.Intentionality Beats Mediocrity
“In your fight against mediocrity, intentionality is your only weapon.” If you don’t want a mediocre marriage, be intentional about building a strong one. Marriage is easy; building a good, healthy marriage is hard and requires consistent effort.Create Space for Growth
Foster an environment where your spouse can thrive. The best years of marriage come when both partners feel purposeful. If one person is thriving while the other is merely tagging along, it can create tension and resentment.Pursue Mentorship
Seek out mentors—find a couple who are ten years ahead of you and also have couples walking alongside you. Mentorship is a life hack for marriage and life.Four Traits Every Man Should Aim For
Early in marriage, I read a book that outlined four things every woman wants from a man: Maturity, Consistency, Decisiveness, and Strength. Striving for these qualities has been life-changing for me.Model Love and Respect for Your Children
You cannot be a good father and a bad husband at the same time. Your children learn more from what you do than from what you say. Show them love and respect through your actions.Choose Love Over Bitterness
Maintaining bitterness and pride often requires the same amount of energy as love and sacrifice. It takes effort to be bitter and petty—so why not use that energy to be forgiving and kind instead?Self-Control Is Greater Than Boundaries
Boundaries are important, but self-control is even better. Practice restraint and discipline to safeguard your marriage.Money Isn’t Everything, But It Helps
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it creates an environment where happiness can flourish. When you’re not stressed about bills or gas, you can focus on the more meaningful aspects of life and marriage.
IGNITE
Take a moment to reflect on the lessons shared and identify one that resonates most with you. Here’s how to engage with it:
Identify Why It Resonates
Why does this particular lesson stand out to you? Reflect on how it connects to your personal experiences or relationships.Take a Practical Step
What is one actionable step you can take to apply this lesson and improve your relationships, whether with a partner, friend, or family member? Make it specific and achievable.Share Your Wisdom
Share one valuable lesson you’ve learned about relationships over time. How has this shaped the way you approach connections with others?
So much applicability to everyday life (married or not). The point that speaks to intentionality being necessary to fight mediocrity really hit home for me. As someone who aims to be excellent in all I do this is a critical reminder that excellence WILL NOT happen consistently by chance.
Will work on the other questions privately.
Beautiful photos!
Well said Dario, and so much food for thought. I pray that this would be seen and read by a lot of people it can surely help to enrich some relationships. Keep up the good work.